Thursday, April 4, 2024

Nine Deaths Of The Ninja (Emmett Alston, 1985)


 
I saw Nine Deaths Of The Ninja on a day that I was feeling particularly crappy. When I started the film I was expecting some ninja movie that would be undeniably bad. The thing that I got was really beyond words. Nine Deaths Of The Ninja is a straightforward satire of the genre and ninja movies. Yes it may feature a ninja story and action and swords and martial arts movements, but the film is  a farce without the slightest exaggeration. I still remember that opening titles scene where the 80s meet ninja mythology... Really, fuck me that was so funny! I watched the whole movie having a real blast of fun with it. The scene where Sho Kosugi trains by cutting watermelons with his sword and then when he stops a bullet with two fingers. All these moments made me realize that there are movies out there, really forgotten films, that are really something if you want to have a good, lighthearted time with them. And that opens a big conversation with the topic what is crap and what it isn't. Well crap doesn't necessarily means that it refers to a bad movie. There are tons of bad movies which are fucking masterpieces, out there.
Nine Death Of The Ninja is most certainly a bad movie, but at the same time is a movie that understands the fact that what it pictures is crappy. It's a very down-to-earth movie if you like. And that movie makes me wonder why people try sometimes so hard to make art? You know art with a capital A. Not that aren't real artists out there. There are a lot of great artists out there, but there are a lot of phony ones also. In the same way that no famous director ever tries porn, no famous director ever tried to make a ninja movie. The only example of mainstream film with ninjas was Ninja Assassin and that was an extremely interesting movie. I would very much like to see a ninja satire movie made by Adam McKay for example. I think that it would be a brilliant comedy. Till then though, I give you... Nine Deaths Of The Ninja.  

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